Little Bits of My Life Through Subliminal Messes
by Cheshiree
Summary: Drabbles. Choose to read at your own risk, really. Because the writing's either really bad or you won't understand the passages.


Do you ever get the feeling that reality is just overrated? I wanna try and see how my writing skills go to create an alternate world where anything can happen. Call it a story, or a cautioned way to perceive life. Your choice. I just feel that talking about things outright should be left to closer friends. My mind's been in this fairy tale for quite a while, and I've thought about writing it out, but I've been lazy. Yes, lazy enough to even avoid wasting time.

Writing about life is boring. Not because my life is boring, but how I want to express something can be wrongly misinterpreted. See if you can figure out the subliminal messages. It should be fairly easy to figure out the surface, but I like to add in other hidden pieces to a different puzzle.

Enjoy?

**I Hate Suckish Fanfiction.**

"Hypocrites, that's what we all are. Hypocrites," She thought as she gazed up into the night sky. The stars tell Her stories, some she may not follow, but still stories nonetheless.

It is hard to get straightforward answers nowadays, probably because everyone has been wound up in circles all their lives that they can't untangle the mess. So this is where She goes to clear her mind every night. It is a safe dwelling, almost like a refuge. The Home will open to anyone who truly needs it, as it is always open to Her. A typical home would have doors, windows, and a roof, but the Home is often thought of as freedom. It appears as whatever the user wishes; and She does tend to be a bit claustrophobic at times.

As She lay in the grass, she took in all of the stories above her. They were almost relaxing; having to listen to other things kept Her mind away from her own problems.

"Not only does running away from yourself show cowardness, but keeping your problems at bay for too long could lead to bigger disasters. I think it is time for you to head on back, dear."

And She awoke with a start. The message still lingered on in the field until at last She got up and walked out.

A sudden pain swept across Her as she left. It was almost like remnants of the past crept up on Her. She finally blocked it off, and at that moment she appeared on her front doorstep.

Instead of following all these depressing vibes, something new had changed Her perspective. Or rather, someone. It was very hard not to like him; he cheered Her up whenever possible, most of the time without even knowing it.

So when She stepped through the door, a warm light fell upon the both of them. The Friend greeted her with his usual aloofness and just started a conversation. The thing about the Friend was that sometimes talk could run very thin, or it could go to a high viscosity. It is apparent in Her conversations with plenty of other people, and she does try to make an effort to keep things going (comfortable silences are nice too), but that awkward gap is always present.

The relationship between Her and the Friend is a very strange one—maybe She is just really open to certain new things—because he's only presented himself recently. So once again, the Friend has brightened things up, and the air around Her didn't hurt to help either.

Maybe it's the attention. Everyone craves attention at some point. She may not show it, but sometimes neglection can really take its toll. She remains understanding of why others leave her for the greater good; but is the greater good really that great when one forgets how to show care in a certain way? And that leads to another concern. One would think that there is only one true answer, but different perceptions obscure the view. And this is where She resides, in a world that is known as the Answer. There is always a solution, but She just has to go and find it. It may or may not be the **right** solution, but it is there. She is trying to get over the fact that some trial and errors shouldn't hurt as much as they're supposed to; embracing a new concept takes work.

The Friend has bid his goodbyes and walked out. She has an interesting way of seeing reality as she depends on mainly her senses. Someone is not there unless she wants or sees it there, and someone only leaves when she feels that person go. Her type of psychology is confusing, but it works in the Answer. [You can see how easily distracted things get]

Sometimes people who have left (when She really couldn't let them go) are in some corner, crying and sulking. She so desperately tries to contact them, but only mere shadows appear. She remembers that if she truly loves those people, she must let them go and see if anything remains. Right now, most relationships are at a point where She should feel content. Although She is greedy by human nature, she has to accept this and continue to drive those ties in the right direction. The lesser side of Her resides deep within and often comes out when she is not careful.

Entertainment is a great distraction. She walks through a garden where there is soft playful music playing about. A black-and-white-spotted kitten has caught Her eye, walking among the shrubs, and he pauses every so often while following her. For an interesting experiment, She mimics his moves and catches his attention. Thus She crouches down and he walks idly forward. With a companion at that, She'll spend her time with him.

The Peoples

The feeling couldn't have been better. What a way to begin a short goodbye to all the people whose absence will be missed.

The Friend. The True. The Will. The Complete. The Judge. The Best. This is just to name a few. _The Few. The Proud. ….The__**Marines**__._ [justkidding.] Although describing Her and people would require infinite, countless words, one word will be used to identify who is who.

The Friend, we've already mentioned. As for True, she is everything anyone could have asked for. True makes Her feel as if everything is alright, there whenever needed. True is well…true; there is nothing between herself and Her. Hopefully she'll stay around for a long while.

The Will. comes up when She least expects it, but always has good timing. Everything is alright when he's there. He shares a mind similar to Her, cooky and illogical. Even if he's far away, the Will comes when needed. Like Fawkes [going off topic]. It's like he gives Her the push to keep moving forward.

Complicated as it is to describe the Complete, he fits into the rest of the puzzle. He brings back the existence of reality, except alleviating the pressure and harshness that sometimes comes. Just unique as everyone else is, She sees him as setting the bar. A pretty good role model and friend, if you will.

If there ever was a burst of iron, the Judge would be the most ironic. The Judge constantly contradicts herself, and She always follows right behind. She almost always finds it surprising how differences between herself and the Judge can be, because they are that close. One would think that they were inseparable. When you're stuck with a person for a long time, she can really grow on you.

With so many meanings 'best' can contain, it's something that can describe him well enough. In Her perspective that is. Every time She tries to tell him something, the real thought is either lost or misinterpreted. If two people could start over, there is always the outcome to wonder about. The general thought of erasing regrets is nice, but wouldn't there be different mistakes in the end?  
She has always wanted someone to fight and bicker with, but really have both of them know that she loves him/her. The Best tests Her wits almost to the limit and it's a challenge. Maybe it's just all in Her head, but there's a spark of fieriness that's illuminated. Ever since She first met the Best, she's wanted to find out more about him. Suppose She obtained her wish? Somewhat though, because he's always changing and hard to follow. _A hand has run over the real message and scrambled the puzzle once again._

a note from the suckish author: and now, I leave you with a week to ponder over with whatever you feel like. It's your life afterall. Ta~

The Express

She boarded the train and set off. Flashes of Try appeared outside the windows. He just stood there, his image flickering on and off as the train sped up, like the ones you see in those horror movies. Hallucinations? Maybe.  
The week was not exactly a bullseye. She cried every night. In the beginning She thought nothing much of what happened, but as the days wore on, the pang grew stronger.

If things aren't okay, then it's not the end. Following that, things considerably lightened up. Talking with Try's Friend, Smiles, helped immensely. He may have made impossible promises, but they soothed Her down. Will this just be another phase, or will She finally let go? Only we can make out the ending. Her greatest wish is to finally say goodbye to Try. This was totally an unexpected one-night-stand that should have left room for more.  
I thank Smiles for he really helped Her. His expressions, hugs, and words of comfort kept Her going. Maybe the message will be passed on. Anyways, he's a good person. One should find that seeing one's good side is a lot more rewarding, if not tougher than pointing out their flaws.

During Her week, she did get to revisit Home. Ah, how it was missed. The stars whispered their tales; and in the far distance you could hear the coyotes and such howling and barking. Just close your eyes and listen to the chirps and music of Her Home.

**I Have a List..**

Train back was plenty enjoyable. Such a carefree spirit, She had a whole bucket of water wash over her. It had an awesome feeling where She could act spontaneous without anyone giving her the look. No regrets, know what I mean. Lucky is the word to use; a difficult feeling to explain, and that's why a comfortable silence feels necessary. No need to go complicated. Let's all chill and enjoy the moment. A little break is good.  
Normally when you put something on top of your bed, it falls off after you kick and roll around. No sir, She must have done some magic trick to keep them on the same exact spot but a few bed sheets less. Apparently, She had reluctantly delved deeper and deeper into the Answer, where the truth lay. It overwhelmed Her so much to a certain extent that she returned panting.

Shootman, She craved for a cuddlebuddie was what the Answer shot back ! Traces passed, but nothing clicked.

Ohdear, a very comfortable-looking chair poofs up.

Let's have a little rest shall we.

Is that a tea party?

If You Get on the Train at the Wrong Time, I'm Sorry

She took a swig of Red Bull (what teaparty is this ?), and started break dancing. Later on, wings grew out of Her side and took her high into the air. She appeared at a closed dark-blue drape, where whispering could be heard behind it. Right when She was reaching to open it, someone picked her up from behind around the waist and held her high above his head. His face could not be seen from her angle, but he carried her out into the horizon comfortably. She forgot all about the closed drape and provoked whisperings.

**Blink. Blink.**

She once had everything she could have ever asked for. Now things were starting to crumble. Quite literally, in fact. Right when She reached for a sentimental object, it instantly fell into a pile of dust. It was like She was sent back into a dark room with one of those cliché scenes where everyone has their backs turned to her and starts walking away. It was time for another trip on the Train. This time She'll be gone for who knows how long. And who knows where.

Except it is good to spend a little more time with family nowadays. She'll be greeting them on the Train. Make sure everything is intact and things don't fall apart. A divorce was mentioned in the faraway past, and Her fears are acting up again. Not in the same way of separation, but with her own personal ties.

There was so much going on in these past few days. And half of which was focused on internal battles. She's really turning all self conscious again; yeah, it was time for another Train trip.

Analogies?

It was like butter being spread over a slice of bread. If it is done right, then by looking on the surface it should seem pretty even. And then one wonders if there are any holes in the baked dough, and if the butter has fallen through then? It's kind of like that with relationships with people. She questions how deep her ties with everyone are. But then in the next minute, She slaps herself and realizes that she's just being—Ah what's the word? …whatever, let's just call it paranoid.

Enough 'going with the flow'. It's time She actually does something and takes action. But…why is She always tired and mellow? Maybe it's the summer snooze, but whatever. We should fill Her day with more worthwhile things. It could be time to meet Inspire and Insane and Impact and all those other people again. Let's all go to Narnia guys !

Losing It

She's completely at a loss for words. And quite frankly, losing Her mind. Literally. It's like turning into an airhead. Every time She tries to extract a memory, it doesn't register. (The Pensieve is turning white instead of black..or silver or something.) The ones that do appear, pop up unneededly. And also, what is with all the black people coming up to Her more and more? What are they trying to say…

**You Ever Get that Feeling that You're Being Watched?**

"You don't even know how hard it is to not like him !" Judge yells at Her.

_Oh, you don't even know the half of it._ Now if only She could voice that.

**I Want to Cry but My Tears Ran Out Because of You.**

She wanted to be back at Home with the stars. It was like She was too fat in this world of skinniness and couldn't squish through. Stuck. and No way of backing out.

Her files of everything were disappearing one by one, as she discovered that the more information needed, the more her files couldn't provide. Must be time to recollect them, and preferably back at Home. Home: a cool, clear night sky with an awesome view of everything above and beyond. To Her anyways.

So as She was working in the File Room, a long corridor filled with mysterious entryways that lead to nowhere and anywhere, a Ghost came up from behind her and signaled to her that something was wrong behind one of the doors across the hall. She sighed, and went to go check it. The whole entire room was cluttered with messy thoughts and papers all over the room. No wonder something was wrong with her thinking, this may be part of her problem. But it would take ages to sort out, what a pain… Maybe She could get some Ghosts to help her.

Bending down to pick up the first paper, She glanced over the words. "Stay gold, Johnny, stay gold." What the heck? It was supposed to be Ponyboy, not Johnny. What is wrong with this piece of false trash. She threw the paper down in puerile anger and looked around for something else to read. Little did She know her surroundings had changed. And right to where She wanted to be most of all, Home. Moreover, a couple of unexpected visitors would be sitting down in the distance to greet Her.

**There's Something About That Look.**

She looked around, not believing what had happened. Suddenly, a pair of strong arms came from behind and embraced Her.

"Haha, hey you." That voice had a familiar ring to it, "a little birdie told me you were feeling kind of down. So, naturally, I had you brought over here."

She turned around to hug Silver, not wanting to leave this comfort. The two of them had another one of their silent conversations. Silver gave Her a piece of square glass, and in it appeared the image of Friend. He had just wanted to see how She was doing and if there was anything he could do. Advice was exchanged and also a little 'I miss you'. As She handed the Looking Glass back, she glanced at Silver and was once again lost in conversation.

_There's always a message in Silver's eyes. Do I have one too? Or do I show that I'm just trying to read._ She always had the intention of finding out people through their nonverbal actions. There was just something particular about Silver that shined (no pun intended).

After a few moments, they both nodded and Silver had left. She sighed and sat down, playing with the grass. Soft footsteps caught Her attention and she looked up to see someone else walking towards her. He sat down next to her, smiled, and gently led her head to lie on his shoulder. And then he started spewing a bunch of random nonsense, starting on saying how She could call him Here. Here, because he said that he'd always be there for her (thus, the start of nonsense). She just laid quietly and listened to all his stories. Before She knew it, her eyelids had grown heavy and when she reopened them, she could have sworn that Here had called her pretty. Except he was now nowhere to be seen. There was a little birdie peering down at her, however.  
A little birdie in a tuxedo, to be correct. Tux held out his flipper, She took it, and followed him off into the horizon, wondering where all this would lead to and how in the world he had known.

**If I Knew What was Going On, I Would Tell You. But I Don't.**

To Whomever This May Concern,

As you may have noticed, I've been disappearing quite frequently to where I don't want to be found. I've been undercover as a secret agent sent on short practice missions as training. Why I've given that trusted information to you, I have no clue. You shouldn't even be reading this. Trust me, this whole thing is really pointless. Lately, however, my work has been less diligent and I am more prone to distraction. I don't understand what's going on but some new things have been happening. Its I just, oh I don't know. I'm really frustrated. These missions were also supposed to help me get you off my mind, but they're just making the problem worse. I can't stand it; the aggravation is even showing in my appearance.

Heck, I don't even see you that often anymore. We would be so out of place, and you're leagues away. I don't know what I'm going to do with you; I wonder if every person I meet is going to go through this with me. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. I can't You know what? Screw this. Time for another mission, but I'll probably fail, again. Just to get away a little longer from you.

Yours Truly,

Her.

**Can You Hear It? That Simple-icity.**

She arrived at the door of her Home from her recent mission ready to plop face down into her pillow. Little did She expect, when the door opened there was someone behind it sitting on her couch. He was crouched over, with his hands hanging limply, elbows on his knees. To match, his expression was one of deep thinking. He turned to look up at her, and smiled sweetly. Amazement just filled Her expression and she walked over to him on instinct. Her weariness instantly lifted as she inquired him of his presence. He replied with a simple shrug and said that he "just felt like chillin' at [Her] place." She laughed at the seriousness of his reason and sat down next to him. There was a short moment of silence between the two, which got her to space out some. Meanwhile, he had turned his head to face her direction, and slowly pulled her into his chest.

She had a quiet, mellow look to her as she leaned in. He didn't smell bad either, so.

After a few breaths later, she mumbled into his chest, "Will you play for me?" Willing to complete his task in comforting, he consented, got up to the piano and started playing a soft tune. She smiled slightly as she curled up and closed her eyes listening to the pleasant melody. He, however, had appeared next to Her side again even as the music continued. Sooner than later, he filled Her with laughter, and took her hand as followed him to the piano. This time they sat next to each other with Her lying against his shoulder and watching his fingers dance across the keyboard.  
She whispered, "You know you always pop up at the moments when I need you the most."

He chuckled, "Took you long enough. I've been like this for a while now. It's just that you take some instances for granted."

—-_for two finally together after their tango, I find it only perfect in fantasies_—-

Interrupted

She couldn't wait for her day out with Try. With school just ending, he just so happened to call her and ask if She wanted to hang out with him afterschool. He said that he was already in the parking lot waiting for Her. She couldn't wait to spend hang out with him, after all this time of being separated; there was no other care in the world. She saw Try's car and opened the door, stepping inside to sit down. The warm atmosphere was completely friendly and they both greeted each other with huge smiles. And just as She buckled her seatbelt,

.

.

She woke up.

GOSHDARNIT. And then she realized that she slept past the first bus arriving and was almost late for the next one coming.

**Baby, I Know**

"Truth be told, I can't see you as anything other than a sister. Ever," Best mentioned, trying to keep the tone as light as possible.  
Her heart dropped, just the slightest bit, but she kept her mask on. With a thousand thoughts a second, She only remained quiet and thoughtful, lying through her teeth that she agreed with him. It's the whole "you know what they say line" about loving someone and letting them go. Blah. What nonsense. She's supposedly happy with her renewed ties between her and Best? There's no need to rush. They went through so much together. And besides, Best is happy and all with other people.

Could it be that Her mask molded into her? Or is it because someone is already there, so no one can take that person's spot. However, what She feels that person isn't the typical emotion. It's Indescribable.

-record scratch- GEEZ I'M SUCH A GIRL. and totally out of it.

**wiTHDRAWAll)=**

She sat there, dozing off, a little drool coming out of the corner of her mouth. She was supposedly watching one of the better dance performances, but the music was too lovely and she got lost in its lyrics.

… _Baby, baby_

But then, those two nostalgic words triggered something inside Her. A jolt in Her chest grabbed at her, and her eyes became extremely sore. She grimaced as she tried to quell that long lost feeling. It had been what, 3 months, since She last pondered over Try's existence? The memories returned, flooding Her mind and she was never quite the same throughout the whole day since. Real leaned over and commented on how she liked the music; She silently agreed.

It's that Maze of Mirrors, and Her reflection is screaming to get out. She, on the outside, is thinking, "I've got to help her! I know her from somewhere…." She should have told Smiles to pass on her message of a Happy Christmas while she still had the chance.

**As We Stare at the Clock to Turn 11:11**

She ran away to Europe, somewhere where city life kept her up and about. She spent her days traveling, living her life, but with no extremely serious goals in mind. She just knew that she had to get away. Hide. Why not get lost in the vast comforts of somewhere foreign? She was careful in her tracks, even if seeming otherwise, because if she was found out by the wrong people, her world would end.

It almost seemed that way when She bumped into True. It was a windy day, and the bitter coldness howled with great fervor. She enjoyed the nips at those spots of her uncovered skin, but the ominous sounds in the air sent chills through her body. She hurried into the shelter of a nearby cafe, its great service enhancing the corporation's renowned title. As She entered through the glass doors, her eyes surveyed the layout of the cafe and almost immediately fell on a familiar face. True smiled back at Her, and invited Her to sit down after She bought Her espresso. The two caught up on each other's lives after not having met for so long. Amidst their conversation, She was amazed at how True brought out the real colors of Her life. She didn't even realize that she was lying to herself or keeping part of the answer away until True voiced her own opinion. Don't get me wrong, She wasn't being a follower or anything, but True's responses inspired her open up again, to trust some more. She would say something, True would retaliate back, and She would rethink. It was really something when a muddled mind was being cleared and the stress was evaporating.

While She and True were noting at how eye catching the cafe and its workers were, She caught sight of a note sticking out between two leaves of a particular book located on the cafe bookshelf. She murmured something to True and went to retrieve the book. When She brought it back, they both were eager to find that the simple note turned out to be a long letter addressed to someone who had quite a history with this particular cafe…


End file.
